This past week I was pretty sick.
Like stomach virus blech.
Need I say more?
Anyway, by the end of it, I found myself glad for the days off, thankful for the time of rest.
And why not? Rest is from God, even if it is rest my body practically forced on me ;)
But seriously, I couldn't help but marvel at how good God is.
For some reason I found myself thankful for all manner of things that, well, usually I complain about.
I thought about how I used to hate lightning storms, and how the Lord has shown me to have wisdom in the storm (physical, spiritual, whatever respect you take it), and yet to see the beauty in it. Where as a child I used to cower in the heaviness and finality of the thunder, now as a lover of art and beauty and music, I see the dance of the lightning in the sky, and I hear the rhythm of the thunder. Somewhere the storm resonates with my soul, and what was frightful has become a thing to be amazed at. Indeed, it lulls me to sleep!
Then I thought about all the times (even recently) I have complained to God about being sick so much, and "missing out," and laughed to realize that my tired self was thrilled (though slightly delirious from nausea) to have a few days to just be oblivious to the world. I didn't have to worry that it would stop moving or that I would miss out. In fact, I just trusted the Laws my Jesus put in place, that they would keep the earth spinning. And I recognized the peace in resting to be greater than the 'benefit' of participating.
Then my mind went to deeper, darker parts of my life- times when I have been betrayed or hurt, times when through my own actions or those of others, my being was compromised. And I remembered days gone by when I had thought there could never be any good that would come from these hurts and pains. But the Lord reminded me how He had brought me closer to Himself, how He had shown me beauty, and how He had given me freedom. He reminded me of the joy He brought out of the darkness, and the life that came when painful parts of my life were buried in Him and His word. This life is still coming, even though not all the pain is gone. In fact, He caused me to see with new eyes. I see now even those events with a thankfulness and a joy. And out of this burst a flower, and He and I called it love.
And of the sudden, I cannot hate even the "painful" memories of past- for through them I have learned to love the storms, and the "forced" times of rest (though the sickness and pain are still trying, of course!)... I have even come to love those who have hurt me. In my heart, and now in prayer and in public, I hope and pray the best for them. I believe that the Lord wants life for them as He gave to me.
Call me crazy. Maybe I am.
But I'm finding new meaning in that call- the one that said "rejoice in the Lord always, again I'll say Rejoice!"
I thinking I'm seeing fingerprints of Someone in all these situations-
I'll call Him "Restorer."
